So last Tuesday night I was scrolling through Twitter feeling like garbage when this tweet about some old drawing popped up – that Alexamenos Graffito thing. The caption claimed it was Rome’s earliest Christian graffiti. My brain went “wait what?” because all I pictured was scratched crosses on catacomb walls.
Digging Through the Mess
First thing Wednesday morning I tore apart my bookshelf looking for anything about early Christian stuff. Found my old Rome guidebook covered in coffee stains – nada. Then I remembered Bill from history club mentioning this crazy book years ago. Called five libraries before tracking down a digital version at 11 PM. When that crude sketch loaded – damn. Some Roman dude carved a crucified guy with a donkey head onto plaster.
Started hunting down explanations. Every academic article felt like chewing cardboard. Finally found somebody’s museum blog breaking it down:
- Location matters: Not in some hidden alley – carved right onto plaster near emperor’s palace on Palatine Hill. Like vandalizing Trump Tower to mock somebody.
- That ugly scribble: Shows two figures. Left says “Alexamenos worships his god.” Right shows a crucified man with donkey ears. Signed “Alexamenos is faithful.” Brutal ancient roast.
- The shock factor: Romans crucified thousands – but equating Christ with a donkey? That’s next-level cultural slander targeting beliefs.
Why This Scratched Wall Matters
After two days connecting dots between sources, this garbage graffiti actually changes everything:
- Proof haters existed early: Christians weren’t just ignored – regular people actively mocked their beliefs decades before any empire persecution.
- Secret believers got outed: Alexamenos was clearly someone nearby – shows Christians lived/work right in Rome’s power center early.
- More than catacombs: This crude joke on palace walls confirms Christians existed openly before going underground later.
Office Work Parallels
Made me think about Susan in accounting actually. When she got promoted last month, somebody printed donkey pictures and taped them over her desk. Our Alexamenos moment – harassment through humiliation rather than fire. Humans don’t change much huh?
Why do I care so much? Because like Susan, that graffito exposes truth corporate manuals hide – mockery reveals what powerful people want silenced. The insult preserves what polished histories erase. Found more humanity in that donkey-headed Christ than all Vatican tour guides combined.
