Alright, so this whole Bible mystery thing started when I kept seeing folks argue online about contradictions and weird stuff in the Bible. You know the drill – endless debates that go nowhere. Made me itchy to figure it out for myself. Not gonna lie, I expected it to be a snoozefest.
The Wise Man Approach Was Killing Me
First thing I did? Went full “Wise Man.” Dusted off the big commentary books, dove into online theology forums, even tried reading some ancient Hebrew word studies. Honestly? Felt like banging my head against a wall. Everyone was obsessed with making every single tiny detail fit together perfectly like a puzzle, or arguing about why it couldn’t possibly fit.
My brain felt like mush after a week. I got tangled up in arguments about:
- Why are there different creation stories? (Scholars have 10 different theories, all complicated).
- How does free will work with God knowing everything? (Philosophers have been shouting about this for centuries).
- What do all those weird prophecies really mean? (Commentators disagreed violently).
It was exhausting. Felt like chasing my tail. Every answer just sprouted three more impossible questions. Seriously considered just shelving the whole Bible as a confusing mess.
Then I Tried Thinking Like They Said “Witches” Did
Feeling dumber than a bag of hair, I gave up on the libraries. Figured, what the hell, let’s look at this the way folks accused of witchcraft back in the day might have – practical, focused on what worked in their lives, less on proving every word was perfect. Forget the grand unified theory of scripture.
So, I flipped the script. Instead of asking “How do I force these pieces to fit?” I started asking:
- What actually helped people live?
- What stories gave them strength when things sucked?
- Where’s the practical wisdom for getting through the day?
I stopped sweating the small stuff. Two creation accounts? Fine! Maybe one’s poetic and grand, the other’s more about human relationships. Pick the angle that helps you today. Prophecies murky as ditchwater? Maybe their power wasn’t in predicting the future perfectly, but in giving hope to people right then who were getting stomped by empires.
I started looking for the hands-on bits:
- Psalms: Not doctrine, but pure, raw emotion – yelling at God, begging for help, celebrating survival. That felt real. How many people through history whispered those same desperate words?
- Proverbs: Down-to-earth street smarts about money, neighbors, not being an idiot. Stuff you’d tell your kid. Practical magic for daily living.
- Jesus telling stories: Less about building a systematic theology, more about flipping expectations upside down to shock people into seeing the world differently – like a really good, subversive teacher.
And holy crap, the contradictions? Suddenly they weren’t problems to solve! They looked like… well, real life. Life is messy! People see the same event differently! Priorities change! Reading the Bible this way felt less like trying to assemble flawless IKEA furniture blindfolded, and more like listening to a messy, powerful family history full of both profound wisdom and human screw-ups.
The Smack-in-the-Face Moment
The big mystery I thought was unsolvable? It wasn’t about cracking a code God hid in the text. The mystery was how I (and the “wise men”) got so lost in the weeds trying to make it all perfect and logical that we missed the freaking forest.
The “witchy” approach – practical, experiential, less obsessed with doctrinal perfection – solved the mystery by reframing it. The Bible isn’t primarily a puzzle box or a legal contract demanding airtight consistency. It’s a messy, powerful collection of human struggles with the divine and each other, spanning centuries, offering tools, comfort, challenge, and yes, contradictions – because life has those.
The wise men kept missing the point because they were too busy trying to systematize the river instead of just learning how to swim in it, or sail on it, or even just appreciate how the light hits the water sometimes. The “witches,” focused on practical survival and connection, probably grasped that usefulness long ago.
