There are a lot of things in life that make people laugh and cry, and sometimes the reality is even stranger than the story.But a few of the short stories we’re going to talk about today, while they may sound a little strange and even make you blush, reflect people’s reactions and choices in a given situation.
These stories include a man on a desert island, a guy trying to lose weight, and a newlywed couple living in a bunk bed.The problems they face are different, but they all use their own “smartest” way to solve them.The result is that …… is a bit too much to handle.
Story 1: A man and his animal friends on a desert island.
One day, a man took his pig and dog out to sea in a boat.Unexpectedly, there was a big storm on the way, the boat overturned, and they were all washed up on a lonely island.The island appeared to be uninhabited, surrounded by sea water, and with no hope of rescue.
At first, the man lived by catching fish and finding fruit.He lived with pigs and dogs, and although it was lonely, he got used to it.But it wasn’t long before he began to feel some strange sensations in his body, the kind that made him want to have sex.He looked at the two animals around him and thought to himself, “I’ll just have to choose one now.”
He took a good look at the pig and the dog and finally decided on the pig.He said, “The pig looks gentler and doesn’t feel like it will bite.”So he grabbed the pig and tied it next to a rock, then pulled down his pants himself and prepared to do something.
Just then, the dog next to him suddenly ran over and bit him hard on the ass.He jumped up in pain and kicked the dog away.But this time, the pig also broke free from the rope and ran away.
He had to go after the pig and managed to catch it and tie it up again.Once again he pulled down his pants and was just about to start when the dog appeared again, still biting his ass.He was furious and chased the dog away from him, only to have the pig run away again.
And so, over and over again, he caught the pig, and over and over again, the pig got away.The dog also messed around, always biting his ass.After many times, he was so tired that he lay down on the ground and fell asleep.
I don’t know how long it took, but he woke up and found a beautiful woman standing beside him.She was wearing nothing and stood in front of him and said, “I was sent here to fulfill your wish, but only for an hour, after which I will leave.What is your wish, you can say it now.”
He thought for a moment and said, “Can you hold that dog down for me?Don’t let it bite my ass again.”
The woman smiled, nodded, and disappeared.
Story #2: “Special training” at the gym.
There was a man who thought he was too fat and wanted to lose weight.He heard that there was a good gym in his neighborhood, so he went there to give it a try.When he entered the gym, he saw a lot of different weight loss programs posted on the wall, some were expensive, some were cheap, and he was a bit dazzled.
He picked the cheapest program and the staff took him into a room.Inside the room stood a young girl who had nothing on and was holding up a sign that said, “If you can catch me, you can do what you want with me!”
When the man heard this, he was immediately energized.He started chasing the girl, but every time he was close to catching her, she managed to dodge.An hour passed and he didn’t even touch her.
When it was over, the coach took him to weigh in and sure enough, he was a pound short.“Wow,” he thought to himself, “so that’s how you lose weight and have fun too.”
Feeling good about this method, he decided to try a little more expensive program – this time losing two pounds an hour.This time there were two girls in the room, both naked as well, holding up the same sign.He was overjoyed and frantically chased them around the room, but still didn’t catch anyone.
An hour later, the weight was literally two pounds off.He was getting excited and thought the game was so much fun.
He went straight to the manager and said, “I’m going to try the most expensive program!Didn’t you guys say you could lose ten pounds in an hour?”
The manager was a little hesitant and said, “This program is dangerous, you have to think about it.”
The man smiled and said, “It’s just a few more people, I’m strong, I’m sure I can catch one.”
So the manager took him to the door of a room a bit away from the main building.The door opened and he stepped inside, the man outside immediately locked the door.
The room was dimly lit, and he saw a figure standing there, also holding a sign.But when he got closer, it wasn’t a girl at all, but a chimpanzee.The sign read, “If I catch you, I’ll do what you want with you!”
The man freaked out and rushed for the door, but it was already locked from the outside ……
Story 3: A poor couple’s secret code word.
There was a young couple whose family was especially poor and did not have a house of their own after they got married.They had to live in a hut with two old people, sharing a bunk bed.The two old men slept on the bottom bunk and the couple slept on the top bunk.
Soon after they were newly married, both of them were very much in love, and at night, of course, they had things to do between husband and wife.But they were too embarrassed to mention it directly in front of the two old men, fearing that it would be embarrassing if others heard them.
So they worked out a way to set a code word.Whenever the husband wanted to make out, he would ask his wife, “Honey, do you want an orange?”If the wife agreed, she would reply, “I’d like one.”If it was inconvenient, she would say, “I don’t want to eat it.”
Every night, the husband would ask that question softly, and the two of them slowly got used to it.
Until one night, the husband asked the usual, “Honey, do you want an orange?”Just as he was about to go on, the old man in the lower bunk suddenly spoke up, “I don’t care how much you want to eat, but can you not drip orange juice down there?”
The couple froze at that, then couldn’t help but laugh.It turned out that what they thought was their little secret had long been heard by the two old men.
From then on, they never dared to say “eat oranges” because they were afraid of making jokes again.
