So this week I got really obsessed with medieval history after watching some documentary clips late at night. Decided to dive deep into Charles VII and Joan of Arc’s crazy story during the Hundred Years’ War. Way harder than I expected.
Research Phase Mess
First thing Monday morning, I grabbed like ten books from my local library. Started flipping through them at my kitchen table while drinking coffee. Holy cow – the dates and names were all over the place! One book said the war started in 1337, another said 1339. Some listed Joan’s birth as 1412, others said 1413. Almost spilled my coffee trying to compare sources.
The breaking point:
Wednesday afternoon I was trying to map out the battles on sticky notes across my living room wall. Got tangled up in English claims to the French throne through some king’s second cousin twice removed? Nearly cried looking at complicated family trees. Said screw it and threw all the sticky notes away.
Simplifying Like Crazy
Thursday I started over completely. My new rule: only keep what actually matters to the story. Cut out:
- All minor battles except Orleans
- That weird treaty from 1420 nobody remembers
- Like five kings with similar names
- Any mention of tax policies (who cares?)
Made this simple backbone instead:
- England wants France (basic)
- French prince Charles has zero chance
- Peasant girl Joan hears angel voices
- She walks into army HQ uninvited
- They win at Orleans against odds
- Charles gets crowned king
- Joan gets captured and burned
- French eventually kick English out
Making It Relatable
Friday morning I tried explaining it to my neighbor who only watches football. Changed “coronation” to “big crown ceremony.” Called armored knights “walking tin cans.” Described English longbows as “medieval machine guns.” When his eyes didn’t glaze over, I knew it worked.
The Final Stretch
Recorded the explanation Saturday in my messy home office. Completely ad-libbed while waving around a kid’s plastic sword as prop. At 3AM I yelled “IT’S NOT STAR WARS!” when mixing up Charles VII and Charles VI for the hundredth time. Uploaded with red eyes and no script – just raw frustration and enthusiasm in one take.
Today my DMs blew up from history newbies saying they finally get it. Worth all the headache! Though my cat now hides when I grab that plastic sword…
