How I Got Hooked on Ancient Greek Friendship Tips
Last Tuesday night I was scrubbing burnt pasta off my pot when Mike cancelled our coffee hangout again. Felt like crap after third cancellation this month. Went down rabbit hole searching “why friends flake” and stumbled on Socrates quotes about friendship ethics. Ancient Greeks had this nailed – Aristotle wrote more about buddies than physics! Decided next morning to road-test their rules.
The Experiment Game Plan
Dusted off my philosophy e-books and picked four practical rules to trial for two weeks straight:
- Virtue mirroring: only bond with people who push you to be better
- Shared pain principle: showing up during rough times matters most
- Truth grenades: dropping polite lies when friends mess up
- Equal effort rule: measuring give/take ratios with friend-o-meter
Cleared Sunday for recording outcomes. Grab some snack.
First Test Drive: Virtue Mirroring
Started with my comic book group meetup Thursday. Noticed Jake always jokes about stealing office supplies. Thought about Aristotle saying “friends hold virtue mirrors”. Next time he bragged about nicking pens, I straight-up said “Sounds like something Homer Simpson would do”. Awkward silence then chuckles. Week later Jake shows up with fancy pens shouting “TOTALLY BOUGHT THESE!”.
Felt weird but worked.
Shared Pain Trial Run
Saw Sarah’s dog died post on Instagram Saturday morning. Almost typed “Sorry :(“. Remembered Plato’s principle about showing up during storms. Drove to pet cemetery with soggy lasagna (her fav). We ugly-cried eating cold pasta by a Labrador grave. She texted next day “Only reason I showered today was cause you came”.
Worth missing basketball game.
Truth Grenade Deployment
Mike rescheduled coffee again Tuesday claiming “food poisoning”. Knew he was actually grinding Xbox achievements. Plato’s warning about flattery rotting friendships flashed in mind. Sent: “Dude – your gamer tag shows 12hr raids. Either cancel properly or tell truth.” He came over that night with apology cookies saying “Keep calling me out please”.
Tasted better than polite lies.
Equal Effort Audit
Made spreadsheet tracking friend interactions – sounds robotic but Aristotle quantified everything. Found Raj always initiated hangouts while Priya never replied to texts. Gave Priya three-day window to answer brunch invite. Silence. Sent “Guessing you’re not feeling this friendship?” Deleted her contact after read receipt. Felt lighter after trimming dead branches.
Epiphany During Sunday Debrief
Sitting with notes seeing patterns. These 2400-year-old rules fixed modern sludge:
- Wasted time dropped 60% by cutting one-sided ties
- Real talk saved 4 friendships I’d passively ghosted
- Invested extra hour weekly but gained back three in drama reduction
Still forgot trash night twice though – philosophers didn’t cover municipal schedules.
