When we were children, we all heard many fairy tales, such as the short and interesting stories in Grimm’s Fairy Tales. Today’s story is called “The Crumbs on the Table.” Although it is very short, it contains many lessons that adults should ponder.
The story goes like this: There was an old rooster who told his chicks, “Hurry inside and eat the breadcrumbs on the table.” The chicks replied, “No, no, the lady will see and beat us!” But the old rooster kept persuading them, and eventually the chicks had no choice but to go inside and eat all the breadcrumbs. When the lady returned, she was indeed angry and chased them out.
At this point, the chicks said tearfully, “Look… Look… You know, don’t you?” But the rooster just laughed and said, “Cock-a-doodle-doo, don’t you think I know?”
This story seems very simple, but it actually contains many thoughts about “how to teach children.” Let’s talk about it slowly.
Why did the rooster let the chicks eat the breadcrumbs?
Many people’s first reaction might be, “The father is so mean, deliberately letting his children make mistakes.” But if you think about it carefully, you will find that the rooster did not really want to harm his children, but wanted to teach them something through this incident.
First of all, he did not let the chicks steal the whole loaf of bread, but let them eat the breadcrumbs that others had discarded. These crumbs were originally meant to be thrown away, so the chicks did not actually do anything wrong by eating them.It’s only because they were on the dinner table that the hen scolded them.
Therefore, the rooster isn’t encouraging the chicks to do something bad, but rather creating an opportunity for them to experience the “consequences” for themselves. This is a teaching method called “experiential learning.”
In real life, should parents let their children suffer a little?
There is a popular saying in society today: “Children should grow up happy and not be made to suffer.” Many parents also believe that as long as their children are happy, they should not be made to suffer in the slightest.
However, in the long run, this way of thinking may be problematic. If a person has never suffered or experienced failure or setbacks in their childhood, they are likely to panic, avoid problems, and feel helpless when they encounter difficulties as an adult.
Just like the chicks in the story, they initially refused to go, afraid of being scolded or beaten. But when they finally went, did it, and were chased out, nothing particularly terrible happened. Moreover, the rooster was standing nearby, smiling and telling them, “I knew what would happen.”
This is a form of “guided growth.” It is not about forcing children to do things or letting them do whatever they want, but rather providing them with a safe space to try, experience, and face the consequences.
Children’s growth is not only physical, but also spiritual
Nowadays, many parents attach great importance to their children’s physical health, such as what they eat, what they wear, and how long they sleep. These things are indeed important. But more important than physical health is the growth of children’s “inner selves.”
Where does children’s spiritual strength come from? It does not come from parents pampering and spoiling them every day, but from the process of facing challenges, solving problems, and learning lessons time and time again.
For example, if a child falls down, and someone immediately picks him up every time, he may become increasingly dependent on others. But if someone tells him, “It’s okay, try to stand up by yourself,” he will gradually become more courageous and independent.
Spiritual growth is not achieved by words, but by actions.
Why can the old rooster do this, but it’s so hard for parents today?
There’s an important detail in the story: the old rooster dared to let the chicks eat the bread crumbs because he knew the hen wasn’t home. If the hen had been there, she would have stopped the rooster from doing so.
This actually reflects a phenomenon in real life: mothers are often more lenient and can’t bear to see their children suffer even a little. And fathers? Nowadays, many fathers are even more lenient than mothers and are even more reluctant to let their children suffer.
This is not a question of who is right or wrong, but rather an imbalance that often occurs in family education. If we always protect our children and don’t let them encounter any risks, how will they face the real world in the future?
Children’s “Buddhist” attitude is actually a conservative attitude forced upon them
Nowadays, people often say that young people are becoming more and more “Buddhist,” unmotivated, unambitious, and uncompetitive. In fact, many children’s ‘Buddhist’ attitude is not innate, but rather “suppressed” during their growth.
Because once they make a mistake, their parents immediately start criticizing, blaming, or even yelling at them. Over time, children become afraid to try new things because they are afraid of making mistakes.
Just like the chicks in the story, they knew from the beginning that “getting on the dinner table” was wrong, so they refused. But they weren’t really ignorant of the rules; they were afraid of being punished.
Therefore, we need to reflect: Are our standards for our children too high? Are we too intolerant of mistakes?
Sometimes, allowing children to make small mistakes is actually a form of greater tolerance. Only in this way can they learn how to judge, how to choose, and how to take responsibility for their actions.
Discipline can be positive, not an outlet for emotions
When it comes to educating children, many people think of “hitting and scolding.” But in fact, ‘discipline’ and “venting emotions” are two different things.
The rooster’s approach is very smart. It knows that the chicks will be chased away, but it doesn’t get angry or shout. Instead, it tells the chicks in a relaxed manner, “I know what will happen, but I’ll let you try anyway.”
This is true “positive discipline”—not punishing for the sake of punishment, but helping children grow.
On the other hand, if parents criticize or physically punish their children simply because they are in a bad mood, it will only make the children feel afraid, angry, and even rebellious.
Therefore, discipline must have a purpose and be delivered with warmth.
The ultimate goal of education: equipping children with the ability to face life
What kind of people do we want our children to become in the future? Perhaps every parent has a different answer in their heart. But no matter what, we all hope that our children will be independent, strong, and responsible.
These qualities cannot be cultivated through constant reminders, but must be gradually accumulated through experience.
As the story concludes, the chicks may not hate the rooster after leaving, but instead trust and grow closer to him. They understand that their father did not intentionally harm them but genuinely wanted them to improve.
Therefore, as parents, we do not need to strive for perfection or do everything perfectly. As long as we are willing to accompany our children through storms, they will eventually run freely under the sun.
Parents are the starting point of their children’s destiny
Finally, I would like to add one more thing: a child’s future actually begins with their parents. It is not about how rich or powerful the parents are, but whether they have a heart that is willing to learn and change.
If you want your child to be brave, then you must not be afraid of failure yourself. If you want your child to respect others, then you must first learn to respect your child. If you want your child to be responsible, then you must first be a responsible adult.
Education is never a one-sided effort, but a process of growing together.
Summary
“The Crumbs on the Table” is a very small story, but it teaches us a very big lesson: education is not about blindly protecting children, but about giving them opportunities to learn to make judgments through experience, to persevere through failure, and to grow through lessons.
We don’t need to be perfect parents, but we can be parents who are willing to grow alongside our children.
May we all be like the old rooster, offering our children a little “breadcrumb” at the right time, letting them peck, experience, and grow on their own.
