How I Got Lost Down the Rabbit Hole Trying to Make a Simple Art Timeline
Honestly, I thought this would be a chill afternoon project. Grab some coffee, browse a few art books, sketch a basic timeline for Christian art stuff. Yeah, right.
Step one was simple enough: I pulled out my trusty giant sketchbook. Ready to look like the organized art history buff I pretend to be online. Figured I’d just jot down the really big, obvious chunks of time everybody talks about.
First, I scribbled: “Early Stuff – Catacombs?” Seemed straightforward. Then “Emperor Constantine Changes Everything.” Cool. Then I hit a wall. What comes after that?
- Remembered something about “Byzantine” – put that down.
- Heard of “Gothic” churches with pointy bits – wrote that next.
- Suddenly recalled paintings getting way more fancy and realistic later… Renaissance! Added that.
- Then got tangled up in whether “Baroque” was actually a thing for churches or just palaces.
- And did photography change religious art? Got distracted researching that for 45 minutes.
My neat page looked like a spider had a seizure with an ink pot. Dates were overlapping. Was the Byzantine period before or after those dark ages people argue about? I had Post-it notes everywhere with question marks. Major fail.
Turning to Tech (Because Obviously)
Fine, sketchbook abandoned. Time to be sensible. Opened a spreadsheet. Columns: Time Period, Key Thing, Example Artist/Picture, Rough Dates.
Tried filling it in:
- Catacombs (Like 200-400 AD? Just guessing). Key Thing: Secret symbols, not Jesus on a cross yet. Example: Fish drawings. Huh.
- Constantine (Early 300s). Key Thing: Big churches! Wealth! Mosaics sparkly. Example: Those huge churches in Rome… Ravenna? One of them.
- Byzantine (Like… 500s to 1453? Woah, long time). Key Thing: Golden backgrounds, stiff figures, huge eyes. Example: That famous Hagia Sophia dome face? Probably.
Realized I knew jack-all actual years for most things. Googled dates for Byzantine. Then realized “Gothic” started before Byzantine ended. My rows started jumping around like mad. Got confused trying to make the cells merge nicely. Spreadsheet rage commenced. Shut laptop.
Desperate Kitchen Table Reconstruction
Okay, analog rescue mission. Cleared the dinner table. Found old receipt paper, junk mail envelopes, coloured pens. Made physical cards:
- Small Yellow Card: “Catacomb Art – Secret Symbols.”
- Pink Envelope: “Constantine – Churches & Wealth.”
- Scraps of Receipt Paper: “Byzantine – Gold & Icons” “Gothic – Tall Churches & Sculpture” “Renaissance – Real People, Fancy Poses.”
Tried arranging them chronologically on the table. The timeline became a timeline of my confusion. Cards overlapping, falling on the floor. Realized I hadn’t even considered the really early bits before catacombs! Cue frantic scribbling of an “Apostolic Era?” card on a napkin. Dog almost ate it.
Stared at this mess. Epiphany: It’s impossible to make a perfectly neat, everyone-agrees Christian art timeline on one sheet of anything. So much overlaps! So much arguing by smart people about when things really began and ended! My quest for simplicity was doomed.
What I Actually Learned (The Hard Way)
Finally accepted my timeline wasn’t going to be a masterpiece. I snapped a photo of my chaotic table layout – that’s my visual aid now. The real insight?
- Early Christians kept it symbolic and hidden.
- Once it became official around Constantine, it got BIG and expensive, moving into churches.
- Styles like Byzantine stuck around forever in some places.
- Things gradually got more lifelike and emotional over the centuries.
- The church itself (and powerful people) drove the commissions, changing the art.
The journey was a messy disaster, but looking at my ridiculous pile of cards and receipts… I kinda get the flow better now. Less facts memorized, more muddled understanding earned through frustration. Maybe that’s the point? Posted the table disaster photo instead of a neat graphic. Authenticity wins, I guess. Still finding Post-its stuck to my socks.
