Alright so last Tuesday I was scrolling Twitter when some dude posted about Vatican City and I suddenly realized—wait how does this tiny country actually run? We always hear about the Pope but what about the government? Like who makes laws or deals with trash collection? Legit had zero clue. So I grabbed my coffee and just dove in.
Started With What I Knew (Which Was Basically Nothing)
First thing—I always thought the Pope does everything. King and God and president all in one fancy hat right? Dead wrong. Opened like 12 browser tabs searching “Vatican government structure.” Wikipedia made my eyes glaze over immediately—words like “Apostolic Camera” and “Pontifical Commission.” Closed that tab real fast.
Swiss Guards Ain’t The Government
My smooth brain then went: “Oh! Those cool stripey-uniform guys must run things!” Spent 20 mins deep-diving Swiss Guard history—turns out they’re just security. Felt kinda dumb. Google autocomplete saved me: “vatican prime minister” led me to this dude called the President of the Governorate. Finally a normal title!
- Step 1: Found out Vatican’s got departments—like a mini cabinet. Governorate handles daily stuff: museums, gardens, even the post office.
- Step 2: Pope appoints the President (kinda like a CEO) plus a Secretary and Deputy Secretary. All cardinals.
- Step 3: But wait—who makes laws? Searched “vatican law creation.” Cue another facepalm. The Pope signs everything. Like literally. Parliament? Nope. Congress? Nope. One-man legislation station.
Felt like cracking some secret code. Vatican runs like a family business with holy robes.
Then Came The Weirdest Part
I’m digging into their legal system—do they even have courts? Yep. Found a flowchart:
- Regular cases → Vatican Tribunal
- Appeals → Court of Appeals
- Big stuff → Supreme Court of the Vatican
But all judges are cardinals or bishops appointed by the Pope. No juries. Also discovered they borrow Italian cops for investigations because the Swiss Guards can’t arrest people. Mental note: never commit crime near St. Peter’s Basilica.
My “Aha!” Moment at 2 AM
After 3 hours and cold coffee, it clicked: The Pope is the absolute boss, but delegates admin work to the Governorate departments. Think of it like: Pope = owner of a theme park. President of Governorate = guy managing the rollercoasters and cotton candy stands. Everyone else? Priests, nuns, laypeople—they’re staff and visitors. No elections. No parliament. No prime minister. Just layers of appointed church officials running a city-sized operation.
Why Bother Figuring This Out?
Honestly? Felt like untangling headphone wires. Annoying but satisfying when it finally makes sense. Plus now I know that Vatican’s “government meetings” are just cardinals discussing whether to fix leaky church roofs or buy new incense. Real thrilling democracy.
TLDR: Vatican City runs on Pope Power™️. He appoints cardinals to handle paperwork. Everything traces back to him. Simple as spaghetti on pizza—confusing unless you’re Italian.
