So I was scrolling through some history memes the other night when this British guy in a fancy uniform kept popping up. Folks in the comments kept arguing about whether he was brilliant or totally messed up the American Revolution. That’s when I figured, hey, why not break down William Howe’s deal in super simple terms?
My Fact-Digging Process
First thing I did was grab three old history books from my shelf – the dusty ones college students would hate. Cracked those open while drinking cold brew, flipping through pages like “where’s this dude at?” Found him buried in chapter about New York battles. Highlighted all the dates with a neon marker until my table looked like a rainbow explosion.
Next morning I hit up free museum archives online, typing “Howe personal letters” into search bars. Took ages to read those old-timey handwritten notes! Kept mixing up his brother’s war stuff with his own until I made a cheat sheet:
- William = grumpy general guy
- Richard = navy dude with ships
- George = politician back in England
Picking What Actually Mattered
Originally had like 12 facts scribbled on sticky notes all over my monitor. My cat jumped up and swatted half of them onto the floor – good cat! Realized nobody needs every boring troop movement. So I asked myself: “What actually explains why this guy still matters today?” Threw out anything that felt like homework.
Ended up with these five keepers:
- How he accidentally saved Washington’s butt (by not chasing beaten troops)
- That time partying cost him the war (seriously, dude loved his mistresses and card games)
- Why he resigned when nobody actually fired him (big old “screw this” moment)
- How his own government totally ghosted him (sent zero replies to his letters!)
- The hilarious reason he got stuck playing defense (wanted to wait for supplies that never came)
Putting It All Together
Wrote the first draft sounding like a textbook. My buddy read it and said “snorefest!” So I rewrote the whole thing pretending to explain it to my 10-year-old nephew. Slashed fancy words like “strategic disengagement” to just “he didn’t chase them.” Added that bit about Howe playing chess when he should’ve been fighting – my friend found that in some diary and it’s golden!
Final test was reading it out loud while walking my dog. If Cooper (the dog) stopped to sniff fire hydrants during a sentence, I knew that part was boring and cut it. Trimmed down to 900 words that even my barista would get while making oat milk lattes.
Posted it this morning with a cup of coffee and already got comments like “wait he partied THAT much during war?” Mission accomplished. Next time someone argues about Howe in meme comments, they’ve got my simple facts to settle it!
