Alright folks, got another one from my little adventures. Wanted to hunt down some truly amazing royal portraits, the kind that make you stop dead in your tracks. Figured I’d document the whole mess, start to finish. Here we go.
The Research Rabbit Hole
First off, sat my butt down at the kitchen table. Coffee cold already? Typical. Pulled out my phone, started searching “best places to see royal portraits.” Everything online kept saying the same places over and over. Felt like hitting a wall. “Gotta be more, right?” Binged searched deeper. Scrolled past tons of obvious lists. Felt frustratingly generic.
Dug into museum websites directly. Old habits die hard. Remembered some smaller galleries mentioned years back. Scribbled down messy notes:
- National Portrait Gallery London: Obvious choice, tons there.
- The Louvre Palace Versailles: Double-checked online catalogues. Expensive train ride.
- Vienna’s Kunsthistorisches: Heard insane things about Habsburg stuff.
- Madrid’s Prado: Velázquez. Enough said.
- Some smaller royal collections: Think Denmark, Sweden… maybe even Russia if flights weren’t nuts.
Stared at the list. Travel budget reality slapped me hard. Ain’t got cash for a grand tour. Had to narrow it down.
The Budget Reality Check
Sighed. Looked at my bank app. Yep, still depressing. Decided on a London-focused trip, maybe Paris if I could snag a cheap last-minute train. Flights to Vienna or Madrid were a pipe dream this month. “London it is, mostly.” Prioritized NPG and decided to wing Versailles. Booked a cheap Eurostar spot for next day.
On The Ground: London Chaos
Hit the National Portrait Gallery first thing morning after landing. Jetlag brutal. Eyes felt like sandpaper. Place was crowded. Saw the Tudors – Holbein portraits are unreal close up. So much detail. Henry VIII looks bigger than life, truly intimidating. Got pushed around by tourists constantly. Hard to focus. Elizabeth I’s portraits? Yeah, iconic, but the crowds sucked the life out of it.
Needed quieter spots. Remembered Buckingham Palace has the state rooms open sometimes. Checked dates online right there on the steps. Gotta be August? Nope, missed it. Bangs head against wall. Knew about the Queen’s Gallery next door though! Grabbed a ticket there. Small space, intense security. Saw some ridiculously ornate portraits from the Royal Collection – Van Dyck’s Charles I on horseback is mind-blowingly grand. Almost felt bad for the horse. Staff shushed me for talking too loud about it. Whoops.
The Day Trip Dash (Versailles)
Caught that early train to Paris. Hoped for the best. Versailles was… massive. Obscene grandeur. Portraits everywhere, right? Tried finding specific ones listed online. Got lost three times. Hall of Mirrors packed like sardines. Found some Louis XIV portraits. Giant, gold frames, dude loved staring at himself. Impressive? Definitely. Enjoyable? Sorta… until my feet gave out. Gallery after gallery blends together after a while. Highlight was actually a smaller room with Marie Antoinette portraits – less crowded, more intimate feeling. Train back to London felt like an eternity.
Home Base: Reality Hits
Back home. Brain fried. Realized I’d seen incredible art, but the experience…? National Portrait Gallery classics felt like checking boxes amidst chaos. Versailles was architectural awe, portraits secondary. The Queen’s Gallery felt exclusive but rushed.
The real kicker? Smaller palaces or country houses back here in England might have been just as rewarding, and less frantic. Chatsworth? Blenheim? Should’ve looked closer to home first. Flights aren’t always the answer. Saw masterpieces, damn fine ones, but finding the right setting to appreciate them without getting trampled or bankrupt? Bloody difficult.
